just getting it all out

I Want You Back

2009-07-07T23:37:17Z

Today, Michael Jackson's family, friends and fans buried The King of Pop--or memorialized him, anyway. As the ABC anchors annoyingly whispered in hushed tones: "We're not exactly sure where the body is going at this moment." Novel idea there, you vultures. Maybe one moment in all this should be left to the family alone.

Anyway, I was definitely sad the day they reported MJ's death, but now, a week later, I seem to have stumbled into full-blown mourning--and I'm not exactly sure why.

His records were a constant fixture in my family's home back when it was whole, back before the fracturing created by divorce and infidelity. My mother, my sister and I would put on "Bad" and dance all around the living room, singing into non-existent microphones and trying in vain to duplicate the octaves he reached with his squeals--pure exultation in the throes of performance. We'd all sing along to "I Want You Back" and "ABC" in the car, the radio tuned to Oldies 97.3--KBSG!

I was in 6th or 7th grade when "You Are Not Alone" came out, and I've never hit the repeat button on a CD player that many times in my life. While nobody else understood the (bordering on obsessive) love I had for my crush at the time, Michael did, and even though it's not really that kind of song, I used to belt it out and pretend I was singing it right to Jason. And even though lots of people hated that video with Lisa Marie, it was the first time I really looked at two bodies being together as a beautiful thing. I remember thinking, "wow, this is weird--here's Michael with short straight hair, a skinny nose and that pale skin--but I still think he's kind of attractive!"

When my ex-boyfriend Marc broke up with me between junior and senior year, MJ was there for that too. I had the Special Edition CD of "Bad" (which, sadly, is somewhere in Massachusetts at the moment), which has three extra tracks on it that weren't on the originally released record. I screamed the lyrics to "Leave Me Alone" over and over and over again until I shouted Marc all the way out of my system. It's funny, because I was actually the one who still wanted the relationship to continue, but I needed all of those memories to leave me the fuck alone and thus the song became appropriate.

Every dance, wedding or party I have ever been to has been marked by the hope that they'd play one of Michael's songs. I love trying to do his stark way of dancing--that ultimate control he had over his body and the sharp moves that nobody could ever completely imitate.

I watched a good portion of the funeral today, and as political leaders, performers, family members and even basketball stars came to the podium, I thought about how much of an impact that man has had on the world. To those of you out there who scream about his child molestation charges, financial problems, plastic surgeries, strangely-conceived children and bizarre behavior, you have said your piece. You have been heard and your opinions noted. Now be quiet, please, and let those of us who loved him for his music close our eyes as we feel the beats he put forth thump inside of us once again--and not for the last time.

I think I'm having so much trouble with this because messed up as he became, he knew exactly what he loved and he did it with undeniable passion. My own life is marked by such fuzziness at the moment--a grey cloud of haze surrounding what my vocation or true calling is. With Michael Jackson, you knew precisely what he was born to do. He went out there and did it 100%. And although his music will live on as long as there are ways to play it, I feel a little emptier knowing that his voice and his legs will never again work in tandem to bring his music to life.

So farewell to you, Michael. Thank you for giving me so many songs that have ended up on the soundtrack of my life. I will miss you.

super_feminist @ 2009-04-19T11:20:00

2009-04-19T18:22:54Z

Never win first place, I don't support the team
I can't take direction, and my socks are never
clean
Teachers dated me, my parents hated me
I was always in a fight cuz I can't do nothin'
right

Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

I wanna be somebody else, yeah

LA told me, "You'll be a pop star,
All you have to change is everything you are."
Tired of being compared to damn Britney Spears
She's so pretty, that just ain't me

Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe
somethin
A day in the life of someone else?
Cuz I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe
somethin
A day in the life of someone else?
Don't let me get me

Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

super_feminist @ 2009-04-18T20:40:00

2009-04-19T03:41:48Z

Some days it gets completely crazy
And I feel like howling at the moon
Then sometimes it feels so easy
Like I was born with a silver spoon

Other times you just can't reach me
Seems like I've got a heart of stone
Guess I need my solitude
And I have to make it on my own

Well I guess I'm going A.W.O.L.
Disconnect my telephone
Just like Greta Garbo
I want to be alone

Need to make some real connection
Baby something's just got to give
'Cos I've been too long in exile
I've been grinding at the mill

Too long to decode all the secrets
Have to get some elbow room
Most people think that everything
Is just what they assume

Well I know I'm going A.W.O.L.
Tell everyone I'm not at home
Just like Greta Garbo
I just want to be alone

Well I'm going out to L.A.
I wanna get my business done
Then I'm going on to Vegas
Then I'm going on the run

If anybody asks you have you seen me
Please just tell them no
'Cos I'm living on the outside
And I have nowhere to go

Well I guess I'm going A.W.O.L.
Disconnect my telephone
Just like Greta Garbo
I just want to be alone

I just want to be alone
Disconnect my telephone
Just like Greta Garbo

Easter

2009-04-09T22:08:37Z

So I was at Bellevue Square yesterday with my mom for our monthly "drink-and-bitch" session, which I am really coming to enjoy. She and I do really well when we are away from my stepdad and we have something finite to do. I'm actually helping her with both some paper grading and a grant request right now, and it feels good to be contributing to something productive instead of just sitting around applying for jobs on the computer.

After we finished our drinks, we were walking from P.F. Chang's to our respective cars, when a gentleman with a stack of those fake million dollar bills tried to stop us, saying, "have you gotten your million dollar bill yet?"

Now, I'd encountered folks like this a couple of years ago in Portland at the Waterfront Jazz festival. Basically, they have these pieces of paper printed up to look like 1 Million Dollar bills and ask you "The Million Dollar Question," which is, "Are you going to heaven?"

As a result of this prior knowledge and a complete lack of desire to get into a theological debate about the existence of God, without breaking stride I said, "I'm good on the Jesus thing, thanks." My mom laughed at me, but really, I was just trying to be considerate. I'm not a Christian, so I won't say, "yes, I'm going to heaven." I'm not soul-searching for an organized set of beliefs, so I won't say, "why, I'm not sure, tell me about this 'Get Into Heaven Free Card' you're selling for the low price of 3 installments of Conversion.'" All you're going to get from me is that I don't believe in God, heaven, or hell, so why should I waste your time when there are plenty of less cynical minds out there to fill with Scripture?

I have a problem with this street conversion crap. My beliefs on it are reflected well by some passages in a new book that's come out entitled "The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner's Semester At America's Holiest University," by Kevin Roose. Essentially this kid goes to Liberty University and spends spring break with a group of young evangelicals as they go out into the world to do god's work. (For a great 3 page excerpt of the book, visit http://www.salon.com/mwt/excerpt/2009/03/18/unlikely_disciple/index.html . For the detailed instructions on how to use the 1 million dollar bill to make people feel bad about themselves and guilt them into getting on the Jesus train, visit http://www.titus2.com/blog/index.php/2006/08/18/million-dollar-bills-and-the-good-person-test/

Anyway, as articulated in the excerpt, the problem I have with these street conversion folks is that there's no attempt at establishing a long-term relationship between a guide and a student, where the history of Christianity is emphasized and the student gets the real story about what it takes to convert to another religion: time, energy and the knowledge that it is difficult & confusing to welcome a belief system into his or her life. Nope. What the folks with the bills want you to do is tell them that that you've accepted Jesus Christ into your heart as your Lord and Savior and go on your merry way, humming with delight that you're now going to heaven.

Sigh. I always get like this around Easter. Even though it's been 7 years now, it's tough not to have bad memories of a holiday where my neurotransmitters suddenly decided that I, Steph, lifelong skeptic of religion, WOULD accept Jesus into my heart because he WAS my Lord and Savior! Yech.

But in the spirit of the earth's springtime and the season of rebirth and renewal, I wish all my livejournal friends a happy Beltane and sunny days ahead. And watch out for million dollar bills. I think they're fake.

seeing red

2009-03-18T18:49:00Z

This post is not going to be edited for other people. Fair warning.

No, it's just going to be for me, to get all of my anger out at a very frustrating exchange that happened yesterday.

Two days ago an acquaintance of mine from Willamette posted some videos and comments on his Facebook profile about how much of a joke he thinks the WNBA and the Women's NCAA tournament is. Surprised due to his normally feminist viewpoints and angry at such inane statements, I wrote him and said it really wasn't cool to say stuff like that. He asked me if I was defending the quality of Women's basketball, which I proceeded to respond to by: pointing out how hard WNBA players work, how they go all out for all 48 minutes of their games, how you never hear about them getting charged for assault or gun possession, and how so many women have benefited from playing basketball and other sports, including me and my grandmother, among others. He proceeded to respond to this by mocking me for saying that I was insulted by his comments, by saying that WNBA plyers were horrible & could be beat by a good high school team, and that nobody cares about women's basketball. My favorite line from his response? The last one, which said, "sorry I disappointed you with such well-reasoned, logical arguments." Wow, how do you really feel about yourself? When I suggested he might try and see a game, he said, "oh, I've already seem 3 Storm games and 1/2 of a high school girls' basketball season. I've seen the best that women's basketball has to offer and I just don't think the players have any talent at all. I mean, there's no dunking or anything." FUCK YOU.

I am so ticked off by all of this. Even though I shared my own experience with basketball and how important it was to me as a person, he just threw it back in my face so that he could feel better about "winning" this argument, which I knew was never going to go anywhere anyway. My friend Hannah brought up a good point in that he's a debate coach and probably things of everything in terms of argumentation instead of considering the content of someone's speech. I mean, where do you go from "I think women's basketball is a joke"? What really ticks me off, though, is how he still thinks he's a feminist. He said something about supporting "the things that matter" when it comes to feminism, like equal pay and the like. Well, guess what, dickwad. Sports is another arena in which it's so important to support men and women equally. You may not like women's basketball, which is fine. I don't particularly like the NBA. But do I go around saying that men's basketball is a joke and that it shouldn't be played? No, because unlike your scrawny ass, I was actually an ATHLETE and understand the sanctity of the game. The hard work and effort that go into the mental and physical preparation of athletics. And to say something like an entire women's sport is worthless is demeaning, sexist and not fair.

So you sit on your throne of self-anointed verbal greatness, Thomas. You and your friends who seem to think that the WNBA has no fans and no future had better not ever set foot in my KeyArena with my Storm. Otherwise I'm going to ask Lauren Jackson to step on your 5'3'' pale ass face with her big Nikes and stare down at you from her towering 6'5'' height whilst beating you senseless with her beautiful blonde ponytail.

Phew.

The price of admission

2009-01-24T04:20:07Z

In this case, the "admission" in the title refers to the admission of wrongdoing, not a fee charged to get in somewhere. I saw Frost/Nixon last night with Scott, and like geoff721, I found it captivating. This doesn't really come as a surprise to many who have known me for years, as United States presidential politics and particularly the 60's and 70's topped my list of "things I was an expert at" when I was younger. I was obsessed with JFK, and by extension Watergate and Nixon. They were very adult things to be immersed in at the age of 14, and I rather enjoyed seeing the eyes of my classmates widen when I began discussing bullet angles, secret tapes Mob-CIA connections and the like.

But through the eyes of the 25-year old me in the theater last night, I realized that the movie was gripping for completely different reasons.

This revelation also came to me after reading The Final Days, which is the sequel to Woodward and Berenstein's All The President's Men. And it is that although Nixon's deceit through Watergate was unprecedented and damaging (indeed, it paved the way for some of the Bush Administration's abuses of executive power), the man spent the remainder of his life tortured about what he had done. He felt remorse. Although as Nixon resigned from office he maintained that he was a relatively innocent pawn with evil swirling around him, as time went on his inner loathing crept into his entire being, and he admitted to letting the American people down.

And thus I recognized, sitting in that dark theater with (to borrow some of your words, Geoff) the weary, knowing laughter of older people surrounding me, that I was enraptured because I will never hear an apology or admission of guilt from George W. Bush. And that makes me very angry.

This is a man who lied to the entire nation about the presence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq so that we would go to war in that country. There were no weapons. There was no exit strategy. And now over 4,000 U.S. soldiers are dead, not to mention the countless innocent Iraqi civilians.

This is a man who, in the wake of September 11th, authorized the wiretapping of civilians' phones and other methods of spying (read Glenn Greenwald's blog at Salon.com for excellent analysis). Who permitted the CIA to practice forms of torture for their interrogation tactics. Who held detainees at Guantanamo Bay prison without charging them with anything or permitting them to access counsel. Who abused the power of the executive branch by issuing signing statements that directly flew in the face of laws Congress had passed. Who permitted his vice president to destroy the career of Valerie Plame. Whose neglect, ineptitude and racism permitted New Orleans to become a wasteland in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Who practiced nepotism in the awarding of defense contracts in Iraq, giving firms like Cheney's Halliburton the chance to get even richer. Who waged a war on women, promoting abstinence-only education, the closing of abortion clinics, decreased access to contraception and a new "Sanctity of Life" holiday just before he left office. Who devalued science and intellectualism, making possible the rise of politicians like Sarah Palin. Who would not commit our nation to working on climate change even though we are one of the biggest polluters on the planet. Who sought to erode the barrier between church and state. And millions of things more.

This man will never apologize to the American people for what he has done. This hick son of a former president, this Yale C-student, who should've been managing a goddamn baseball team instead of running the country, is just going back to Texas having learned nothing from the last eight years. His barrage of interviews in the last weeks of his presidency show that instead of even coming close to understanding the level to which he's fucked things up, he only cares about trying to manufacture some false legacy that will get him at least one good paragraph in the history books of the future.

Why should he even apologize, though? We haven't given him any reason to--haven't held him accountable for what he's done. At least in the 70's with Nixon, Congress had the balls to threaten impeachment. Representative Dennis Kucinich was our millenium's only brave one in the bunch, introducing the articles on the House floor back in May. Nobody took him seriously--nobody. Reid, Pelosi--both of them were so worried, as usual, about how it would look if we went ahead with impeachment proceedings the same year as the election...despite the fact that most people overwhelmingly supported the idea.

Sigh. It comes to my attention that I haven't written anything since President Obama took office on Tuesday. I am happy about his taking the oath of office, excited about what the future may bring. But as I came to political maturity under the Bush tyranny and have spent the last 8 years of my life seeing nothing but the abuse of power, I think it's going to take a while for all of that anger and frustration to finally leave the confines of my bloodstream.

I really think we should hold the bastard accountable with legal action. Will that happen? Probably not. But it sure would indicate that we finally learned something from Nixon. Who knows? Maybe we'll get a Stewart/Bush edition of The Daily Show that would knock our socks off. :)

Until then, though, I'll stick with raving about the portrayal of a president who had the intelligence and conscience enough to at least let some semblance of sorrow escape his lips about his own wrongdoing.

Very funny...:)

2008-12-03T20:24:20Z

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/12/03/prop-8---the-musical-jack_n_147997.html

And the nail-biting begins. . . .

2008-11-03T04:25:07Z

I'm starting to get nervous.

Scott and I were sitting on the couch just now, and he said the pre-election jitters were starting to come up for him--and I turned to him and said, "Don't worry about it at all. Barack Obama is going to be President of the United States."

Things is, after staring at too many polling sites and seeing the gap between the two men shrink, I am not as confident as the statement I made to my husband would indicate.

There are so many people in this country who have been seduced by the anti-intellectual, wedge-issue promoting, hate stoking, black and white thinking, lie spreading machine that is the McCain-Palin ticket and the extreme wing of the Republican Party. A friend of mine posted a story last week that quoted a man at a Florida rally as stating that he thought Barack Obama was a Muslim and named after Saddam Hussein. How do you argue with shit like that? You can only say, "no, Barack Obama isn't a Muslim, he's a Christian--but what's wrong with a Muslim presidential candidate/" once. And if that doesn't stick, there is no way to get past the indignant nature of someone who really wants to be scared.

It's like trying to hypnotize a slug, really. Even if you penetrate the thick wall of blubber surrounding the actual brain, the size of said brain is so tiny that it won't hold whatever information you're trying to program into it.

Ugh. I just want it to be over. I want to take some Tylenol PM, go to sleep tonight and wake up on Wednesday morning listening to President-elect Obama's grand voice addressing the nation.

Happy "almost end of negative campaign ads, inane rallies and ridiculous debates," all! :)

Not so favorite things: football edition

2008-11-01T20:56:06Z

So, we've arrived at Saturday again, thus kicking off (haha) another glorious weekend of watching football. However, with any enjoyable activity involving referees, penalty flags, testosterone and armbands that serve no purpose besides decoration, there will be irksome things coming out of the woodwork. Here are a few whistle-blowing worthy things for me:

1. PASS INTERFERENCE CALLS! This is football, people. When you have two 185 pound men streaking down the sideline at top speeds, there is going to be some contact. Now, if one guy deliberately slams into the other one, or sticks his finger in the receiver's eye, or is a Republican, then I can see handing out a penalty. If you really insist on calling pass interference, though, DON'T PLACE THE BALL AT THE SPOT OF THE FOUL! This changes the dynamic of so many games in an instant and really betrays the game's emphasis on passing offenses as opposed to running. Give it a 10 yard penalty and a first down and call it good.

2. "BREAKING THE PLANE"! Come on, folks. A touchdown should, at the very least, involve the ball TOUCHING DOWN on the ground in the end zone before the player's knee hits the turf. None of this crossing the special invisible plane with the ball in the air and having it count as 6 points bullshit. This is like the equivalent of me going into the voting booth, holding my pen over my ballot, and saying that I've voted. I don't think Obama would appreciate us practicing the "breaking the plane" type of democracy.

3. GOING EASY ON DANGEROUS FOULS! Earlier in the season, Huskies quarterback Jake Locker was the victim of a face mask penalty that when looked at later made one think his neck was going to snap. These penalties are so very dangerous and can cause so much damage. If it were me, a team would get one face mask penalty and a warning. The next time a face mask happened, the player gets kicked out of the game. No exceptions. Same goes for helmet to helmet hits and really rough tackles of the quarterback either below the knees or above the neck. I have seen so many college and NFL players get injured this season--more so than in any of my 15 years of watching football. Get your shit together, players and refs. This is football, not war.

And there you have it. Enjoy the games this weekend and join me in 1) hoping the Huskies don't get outscored in triple digits by USC and 2) cheering on my little D-III Willamette football team as they begin the playoffs! :)

stuck

2008-10-27T18:55:18Z

I always talk about how I know of people who are getting screwed by our health care system, but now I really feel it. I suppose there have been times like this in the past, usually with regard to mental health care, when I've felt so paralyzed by need and inability to access the thing that will help me.

I guess I just sort of reached a breaking point last night with my face pain and my ear ringing. I couldn't sleep because my lower jaw hurt from the mouthguard I wear, but I knew if I took it out my face would hurt this morning. It's like a two-front assault on my face...I both want to tear my jaw out and rip my ears off, replacing both with shiny new models.

Where this gets really frustrating is that recently I was alerted to a type of dentistry called neuromuscular dentistry, which uses a combination of electrical impulses and a mouthguard fit to your real resting bite to help stop the root cause of grinding in the first place instead of just holding your jaws apart, which is what my current bite guard does.

The problem is, this stuff isn't cheap--and although I have insurance, apparently dental insurers don't cover much when it comes to neuromuscular dentistry. They need the treatment codes to figure out whether or not they'll cover anything, but in order to do that I need to go in and have a visit to find out what those codes are...which I can't afford right now if they won't cover anything. And round and round the merry-go-round goes.

When I get a job, I'm going to try consistent acupuncture to see if that won't get rid of this constant clenching. But if that doesn't work, it's time to try this expensive ass treatment that sounds like the thing I truly need to get rid of this crap once and for all.

Ugh. Hooray for you, America. Thanks for helping to prolong my pain and add to the frustration of this whole episode.

baseball + politics= fantabulous

2008-10-08T17:45:49Z

Last night on the Colbert Report, Stephen had 538.com's Nate Silver as a guest. A baseball statistician, Silver and his site have applied their formulas to the election in order to predict the winner. When asked to sum up the election at this point in baseball terms. Silver said:

"I think it's the bottom of the ninth inning, McCain's down two runs, and Sarah Palin just got picked off at first base."

Colbert went on to ask if, instead of batting, McCain wasn't pitching instead, having thrown a little "chin music" with all of those terrorism-association beanballs recently.

I adore both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert...and now this guy Nate Silver, too, since he's predicting Obama to win with 345.4 electoral votes.

fading away

2008-10-07T04:31:16Z

Today, as Scott and I ran errands to escape the obnoxious, invasive set of maids Kim hires every two weeks, we got stuck behind a van with a bumper sticker that originally must have had two American flags on it. The flags flanked a bust of the statue of liberty and it said "united we stand" or something like that.

What really stuck out to me, though, was that this bumper sticker was old enough that the red stripes on the flag had completely worn away--and the only things left were the two blue squares with the fifty stars each.

I was so struck by how this completely represents most Americans' frames of mind in this day and age. We have become so focused on our individual states in the present moment that all memories of the 13 colonies have bled and bled away--only being referenced in bits and pieces when one wants to argue that the Framers intended for us to pack AK-47's and shoot each other in the streets of Florida when they feel "threatened."

What I really wish we could take from the establishment of the 13 colonies and apply to today is the awareness that colonists and colonial leaders operated with. They understood the gravity and the fragility of their situation as it pertained to their new nation. Three and a half weeks from now, we face another moment that will serve as a true window into the fate of the United States.

The world will be able to see whether the majority of the voters in this country understand the significance of this moment as it applies to our present, past and future and select a leader who will use a combination of hope and sound policy to pull us out of the vast chasm we have fallen into. . .or if they want to continue the recent trend of hatred, persecution and violent anger by selecting a leader who will rely on emotional, irrational decisions and will force us further into the chasm mentioned above.

Think of the stripes, folks.

Prez. Politics

2008-09-27T04:48:57Z

O-BA-MA!

O-BA-MA!

O-BA-MA!

While the pundits will say that there was no clear winner in tonight's first presidential debate, I think it was a clear example of the stark differences between these two candidates. Namely, I refer to Barack Obama's consistent provision of real, concrete solutions to problems contrasted with John McCain's condescending, meaningless slate of pithy phrases.

Come on, America! I know you're smarter than you've been behaving!

:)

stop assaulting my already-ringing ears, please

2008-09-22T18:25:09Z

I would encourage readers to keep the following in mind if you choose to read this rant:

1. I have PMS.

2. I have no job.

3. Both Scott and I are sick.

That being said, what the FUCK is up with all of these parents (mostly women) who bring their loud, obnoxious children to A LIBRARY, and then when said children show no intention of paying attention to the half-hearted "shhhh"s that these moms pass in their direction and continue to yell/cry/repeat the words "mommy" or "no" 50 times in a row, do nothing?

It's a nice day outside. Go take your child to a playground, where they can run, jump, make a joyful noise unto the Lord, whatever it is that your cute little ball of gendered clothing and wispy blonde hair wants to do. But do not keep them in the library while other quiet adults and I are attempting to get some actual work done.

Who knows? In 10 years if I have my own children, I may glower with frustration at the surly twenty-somethings who are clearly disgusted with me if my child is refusing to pay attention to me for the eighty-ninth time that day.

But today, I just want you and your little cherubs to leave me the hell alone!

yucky bits and pieces

2008-09-18T19:05:07Z

This is going to be a dramatic post. I'm not apologizing for that, because I make way too many concessions, apologies and explanatory statements these days. It's just the way it is.

My country and my state are both scaring the crap out of me right now. Actually, my state is just depressing me. My Mariners, my Seahawks and my Huskies all stink right now: the M's are getting close to losing 100 games this season, the Seahawks are 0-2 and the Huskies are 0-3 (this is because of a harsh schedule and the previously mentioned ridiculous unsportsmanlike conduct call, but anyway). Only the Storm have been kicking butt, but with the male-dominated sports coverage in the Times and P-I, not enough people give a shit about the fact that our WNBA championship-winning team (2004) is in the playoffs again and going up against the Los Angeles Sparks on Friday.

Washington is also making me angry because I can't believe that the governor's race is even remotely close between Christine Gregoire and choice-hating, unrealistic-promise making, playing the blame game about the Sonics Dino Rossi. This man is even against access to birth control on a widespread basis.

Perhaps the really depressing thing is that I haven't even really bothered to research the governor's race all that much. Why? Because the even more depressing thing is the national political scene, and I feel somewhat defeated as a result.

I have said many, many things over the course of the last 4 weeks about Sarah Palin and John McCain. I will not rehash all of them here. However, here is an excerpt of an email I wrote to Scott's uncle Jim yesterday:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Sarah Palin thing is completely infuriating. I always said in all of my "Women in Politics" classes that I would vote for the candidate with the best policies as opposed to the ones who had my same chromosome configuration, and interestingly enough I've been tested on that in this election.

The other thing (ok, one of many things) that pisses me off is how the media and the McCain campaign are teaming up to blur the lines between feminism and being a woman. Not all women are feminists, and Sarah Palin is definitely NOT a feminist. There is a big difference between powerful, successful women and the things that feminists stand for. Making women pay for their own rape kits? Not feminist. Using executive power to go on record as saying that abortion should be illegal in all cases, including rape and incest? Not feminist. Using your office as the governor to further the same type of secrecy, nepotism and back-stabbing as the Bush Administration? Not feminist. I could go on.

And the hypocrisy of the McCain campaign blows me away. Demanding that Sarah Palin be treated with deference because she's a woman when not six months ago Dick Morris was accusing Hillary of "hiding behind the apron strings" and "playing the gender card?" Not to mention the fact that McCain trashed Obama for being sexist with that "lipstick on a pig" comment when he said the same damn thing about Hillary's health care policy one year ago?

Anyway, all of this is distracting from the issues, which is exactly what the McCain campaign wants. Nobody is talking about how McCain thinks we're not really in a recession. Nobody is talking about the fact that McCain's health care plan calls for taxing people in order to make their employers kick them off health insurance rolls and thus forcing Americans to fend for themselves in the private market (but gee, they'll have a 2,500-5,000 dollar tax credit, so things will be fine). Anytime anyone asks McCain a question about anything with substance, all he can say is, "I was a prisoner for 5 years in Vietnam. I didn't even have a kitchen table."

Long story short, I am pissed. I am pissed as a woman, as a constitutional scholar, an historian, and an American.
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I have said this in jest before, but I mean it now: I am thinking of moving to Canada with Scott if McCain and Palin win this election. Ten years ago I loved this country more than I loved anything in the world. I was a little naive about America's past, but I still considered myself a patriot without being a zealot.

Now I see that the very fabric of my country is unraveling. If, come November 4th, a majority of Americans reject the opportunity to right our sinking ship with Barack Obama in favor of an angry man with a dangerous woman as his vice-president, then I am done. I have to start thinking about what is best for my family and my own personal health--and as a woman with bi-polar disorder who needs constant access to medication and therapy, I cannot and will not stand idly by while a president who does not have any workable policies when it comes to health care wreaks havoc on an already weak system.

In short, America, I loved you for a long time, but if you can't get your act together then it's time for a divorce. I put up with 8 years of you during the Dubya reign and now, in the face of the Constitution having been reduced to a meaningless scrap of paper and trying to find a job as the stock market is crashing and access to abortion clinics is being restricted and the fight to teach creationism in science is stronger than anyone actually fighting for school funding and the media is blurring the lines between having a pair of ovaries & being a feminist and all the while the environment is getting the shit kicked out of it. . .now I have to bite back the tears as I go to sleep at night as I think about what has happened to you.

:(

I hate Zebras today...

2008-09-06T22:29:08Z

...just black and white striped morons, not the actual animal Zebras.

The head referee for today's game between BYU and UW can kiss my furious purple and gold ass.

To put it intelligently.

Oh well--at least this way everyone will be angry at Head Ref Jackass instead of Ty Willingham and the Huskies for losing the game.

Argh.

What's In a Name?

2008-08-26T01:13:10Z

Hello all in blogger land,

Scott and I are now married! (To each other, just for clarification's sake.) We had a lovely wedding and I am happily basking in the glow of getting together 130 of our family members and friends without any major catastrophes. Well, actually, my stepsister accidentally fell and got cut with a big glass bowl, but she's officially said that it was funny, so I don't consider that a catastrophe.

But really, in order to show everyone out there that nothing has changed now that I'm a married woman, I need to bitch about something.

What the hell is up with the people who automatically think I have changed my name to Herman? My name was Stephanie Jean Hartford when I was born, it's been that way for 25 years, and it's going to stay that way until I die.

Yes, I understand that most women change their names and that it's the traditional thing to do. I don't have a problem with it as long as one really consciously wants to take their partner's last name and isn't just doing it blithely. But for those who are sending cards and letters, this isn't the 1960's anymore! Who are you to assume that I would just automatically give up something I deeply treasure and consider to be a huge part of my identity?

Yeesh. Maybe when gay and lesbian marriage is legal nation-wide we'll get rid of this stigma surrounding assumptions about women's names.

super_feminist @ 2008-08-19T23:12:00

2008-08-20T06:13:44Z

I am tired of the Olympic gymnastics judges inflating the scores of the Chinese competitors simply because they have been good in the past. Maybe they're trying to give them Sweet-14 presents.

And I'm getting married on Sunday!

That is all.

super_feminist @ 2008-08-17T03:09:00

2008-08-17T10:11:43Z

Hoooray for Michael Phelps! I don't care what anyone else says, I think his achievement is absolutely stunning. It's the first time I've been proud to be an American in eight long years.

And another huge hooray for my friends who threw me a bachelorette party tonight. I haven't had that much fun in a long time. :)

Argh!

2008-07-17T23:28:28Z

Thank you, baseball gods, for making my life a little more interesting. <------Insert sarcastic scoff here.

So, most who read my verbal throw-up on this page know that despite the opinion of everyone else in Seattle, I liked Richie Sexson to the very end of his tenure here. While I was upset that we released him last week, I knew that Seattle fans were treating him so badly that it was time for him to be somewhere else.

So upon visiting ESPN.com today, I was encouraged to find out that a team is really close to picking him up. The problem?

That team is the GOD DAMN YANKEES!

Grr. I will admit that I have a little more respect for the Yankees as a baseball institution after visiting the stadium two weeks ago, but geez, did it have to be the Yanks that got my favorite player? This means I actually have to follow those pinstriped jackasses to keep an eye on how Richie's doing. Bleah.

Just don't tell anyone in my family in Boston, ok?

:)

:(

2008-07-10T21:38:28Z

Goodbye, Richie. At least 3 people (me, Scott and Pat) will miss you.

Courage

2008-06-10T05:13:00Z

Hooray for Representative Dennis Kucinich having the guts to introduce 35 counts of the articles of impeachment on the House floor today!

Even though it probably won't get anywhere, this is a brave attempt by the Ohio congressman to actually use the constitutional tools we have in place to bring down some punishment for the awful abuses perpetrated by this president and his cronies.

So tonight I salute you, Rep. Kucinich, and thank you for your courage!

So...

2008-05-30T03:25:03Z

...tired of face pain and elevated heartbeats.

...amazed at how office politics permeate every workplace.

...excited for all of the weddings this summer!

...ready for June 7th to be here and be gone.

...tired.

3 cheers for the California State Supreme Court...

2008-05-16T06:23:40Z

...hip hip, hooray!

...hip, hip, for gays (and lesbians)!

...hip hip, for all wedding days!

:)

Snapped

2008-05-09T05:10:10Z

The title usually refers not to me, but this horrible show on the Oxygen (or Lifetime? not sure) network with a female announcer desperately trying to deepen her voice as she says things like, "Life used to be normal for Debbie Killedherman. Seemingly happlily married to her husband Fred and living with their two children, Fred Junior and Lulu.

Until suddenly, unexpectedly one day. . .she just couldn't take it any more."

Etc.

Tonight, though, "snapped" is the word I use to describe my favorite Mariner, Richie Sexson. His batting average has not been the best, and yesterday he had to be scratched from the lineup due to a "personal family emergency." That and our recent dismal record probably all added up to create this in the bottom of the fourth in tonight's game versus the Texas Rangers:

Helmet Throwin' Richie

In all my years of baseball, I've seen many things, like John Kruk swinging completely over his head at 3 pitches from Randy Johnson in an All-Star Game or Ken Griffey Jr. crashing into the center field wall at the Kingdome and breaking his wrist. But never have I seen a player throw his helmet at another player and hit him in the back. Crazy stuff.

You know what, though? He's still my favorite Mariner. :) Truth is, we could use a little fire under our butts at the moment.